Wednesday, January 16, 2013

FOUND: The Soiled Jeans of Jason Stollsmiester of Von Bondies

People forget. Summer jams like C’mon C’mon.

Annnd that Jack White is one tough motha that could and will wipe the floor with your face if you talk smack about him.

Here is a true indie rock find of epic historical proportion.

The stained jeans of Jason Stollismeister of The Von Bondies. It's alleged that the stains are the direct and instant result of the now famous altercation that led to the one band breaking up (eventually) and one broken face. (And shattered dreams?)

Youch. No one said this world of rock n roll was going to be pretty.

Why do you think Jack dresses like a gangster and outfits his staff like willing henchmen?

Monday, December 24, 2012

UPDATE: Fake Indie Rock Stuff isn't dead + FOUND: Sufjan Stevens’ Hand-Sewn, Fair Trade, Carbon Neutral Monogrammed Santa Cap

A quick note: My attorney has asked me not to comment on the C & D order from Macca's camp, but for those who alleged via direct message, email, or post that it might have had to do with a certain shepherd and a physician's signature, all I can say is all I can say on the matter.

- Fake Indie Rocker

Sufjan Stevens’ Hand-Sewn, Fair Trade, Carbon Neutral Monogrammed Santa Cap, "Suffy"

Sufjan Stevens looovvves Christmas. Two or five (?) huge ass box sets of traditional holiday standards and his own indie-centric brand of quirky originals should end any speculation there, but if the yuletide discography was poofed out of existence, there would still be this. Don’t ask us how we got a hold of it. You don’t want to know. Thanks for all of your letters and kind words of support.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (hopefully we'll be back in 2013).

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

FOUND: Billy Corgan and Stephen Malkmus' Signed Contract For Staged Feud

Eat your heart out, Greg Kot.

Confirming what most alternative/indie fans already knew but neither pumpkinheads nor Pavement fans ever suspected, this contract (photocopy) proves the Corgan/Malkmus beef of '94 was staged by a PR firm in Chicago.

Not wanting to "deal with, you know, the festival bullshit" Pavement opted out of the mainstream spotlight that was Lolla, while Billy Corgan was more than eager for the attention - and then some.

"Cherub Rock" is a better song than "Range Life" but rumor has it Pavement's Reunion Tour generated more revenue than Machina, Zeitgeist & Oceana combined.

Credibility management? (Cred for cash)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

FOUND: Rare Publicity Photo of "Sixth Stroke" Andy Samberg

It's well documented that Samberg's mid-00's shag cut was drawing attention away from other prominent SNL cast members.

After a close call from a botched hit on the Lonely Islander, friend J. Casablancas suggested for "Andy's safety," he quit SNL and join the band.

For two weeks, Andy Samberg was the "Sixth Stroke" playing keys and theremin during secret recording sessions with Steve Lillywhite.

When the mescaline wore off and Andy's contract was renewed, The Strokes parted ways with Samberg - and abandoned the sessions with Lillywhite.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

FOUND: Elliott Smith's Self-Help Book Collection (unopened)

Notable titles include:

First Things First

I’m OK, You’re OK

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

The Purpose Driven Life

7 Habits of Successful People

Who Moved My Cheese?

Sunday, November 4, 2012

FOUND: Robert Pollard's Liver

According to the seller, the GBV man's liver was sitting on the mantel in a mason jar in Kelley Deal's living room for about six years or so until she had a rummage sale and sold it for $34, along with an autographed Boom! Boom! Boom! vinyl.

Note: This is the Isolation Drills-era liver - not the coveted Bee Thousand-era spirits sponge that was on view last year at the Experience Music Project.

Bob Pollard's "major label" liver

Friday, November 2, 2012

FOUND: Necronomicon!

I know, I know.

There are lots of necronomicons out there.

What makes this one so special?

It's got a foreword by Nick Cave.

Note: I might be willing to trade this for a signed Gladiator II script.